Adoption Letter

I have been working on our adoption "fundraising" letter. It's hard to put into words what has been going on over the past year and 1/2. It's hard to ask for help from people....but we know that God will provide and bless our efforts abundantly.
Clint and I started a separate blog about our adoption journey and invite you all to follow along.



Here is a LINK to the letter that I finished. It can't possibly relay the emotions we are going through, but I tried as best as I could.

We are excited and nervous about what's to come, but we know it will all be worth it in the end!!!

Project Complete!!

Everyone (*all 3 of my blog readers..haha) remembers my $100 table and chairs from Craigslist...right? It was so cute with SUCH potential!

We had to first remove the 3trillion staples off of the cushions...wish I would've figured out that we were just going to cut new seats before I spent time on these things!!! Oh well, lesson learned!

Oh the fabric....what beautiful Grandma fabric!

So this week...after many nights of sanding and priming and sanding some more...we were ready to cover the seats and finish this project!!

TA-DAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited and pleased with the way they turned out!!! LUV the fabric!

So stinking cute, if I must say so myself!!!

Now it's on to back splash, cabinets and paint....OH MY!

Ending and Beginning

It's a crazy feeling, when you know you need to tell people....but you just dont have the energy to. When speaking or typing the words feels like a feat too big to even start to overcome.

When the need to put into words your "story" becomes all you can think about. The need to share what is going on so that you can avoid the awkward questions and random encouragement. If everyone only knew how exhausting this is. Emotionally, physically....just exhausting.



Grieving isn't something I do well. Especially grieving the loss of something that you will never have...have never had....

I do it in my own ways. Maybe a breakdown.... a tearful, sobbing, slobbery mess. Maybe a joke, or two, or 50! Maybe silence....pure silence.

Maybe I will DIVE into something new, something fun, something crafty....or just DIVE into bed.

Either way, I know I have to do it. I know I can't keep it bottled up. But it's oh so exhausting. Bottled up isn't exhausting.



Last Wednesday I had another appointment with Dr. Haas (my RE). We did blood work and an ultra-sound. Nothing new and exciting.

He said he would call me with the results of the FSH levels around lunch time.

I think that was a VERY long 4 hours for me.

Around 1:15 he called. I think I already knew the answer....but I had to listen anyway.

"Mrs. Ellis, I'm afraid I dont have terrific news for you", Dr. Haas said. I told him I didn't figure he did.

My FSH levels had gone from 79 on Sept. 15th to 105, just 3 weeks later. Dr. Haas said it's now time to concentrate on the health of my body. He told me to come in next week, when my anti-malleriun tests would be in, and we could sit down and talk about hormone replacement therapy and other avenues to keep me from any bone loss.

The diagnosis: Premature Ovarian Failure....aka Premature Menopause.



Yes, that's right ... I said, "Premature MENOPAUSE". Yes, the kind with the evil hot flashes (which I have been experiencing for about a month now), the 97 trips to the bathroom to pee, the occasional night sweats (thank the Lord that these have not been too severe yet), the exhaustion..... you name it! It's ALL mine!

At age 31, I am having to deal with things that my own Mother is just now experiencing.



All of that pails in comparison to the fact that I will never have a child. I will never experience what it is like to create another human being...one that will hold DNA from Clint and I. I will never have the experience of trying to figure out who they look more like, if they have my hair or Clint's...my eye color or his.....and the list goes on and on!

It's a lot to take in.... but if you know me well at all, you know that I can handle it. You know that I am strong and that I pray and know that God will take care of me.
You know that I need comfort and support, but that I am not going to crumble. I'm going to hold my head high and let the excitement of what God has in store for me ignite in my heart.

I trust that what I heard God saying all those months ago.....that I will not be able to have children, that I will adopt.... has now become my truth. I know that when you listen to God and follow Him that you will come out on the other side amazed at what you life has become.


I love you all and I'm SO blessed to have such wonderful friends and family.
xoxoxo

Back In Business- *sort-of*

With adoption on the horizon.. I have started working hard on my Etsy shop and my website. Lots of diaper cakes, and other crafty "creations" in the works. Spread the word!
www.sewcuteandcrafty.com and www.etsy.com/shop/craftycreations2

I love making these cute personalized onesies! So adorable!
These crayon rolls have been really popular! I can personalize them too!

Love to decorate for Halloween? Me too!!! Cute 9x11 "Boo" wood sign.

Cutie little lovie blankets! SUPER soft minky fabric to snuggle with!

All handmade by me!! All proceeds will go to our adoption journey!

Our First Conference Call with Gladney

Wednesday morning we had our first conference call with the Gladney Center for Adoption.
We went over the packet they sent us, ALL the paperwork needed, and the fee schedule. Pretty overwhelming.
Our next step will be to send in the request for the formal application to Gladney (along with our $300).
We are soaking it all in right now, and waiting for our appointment next Wednesday before we do anything.
I am excited and it feels right.....to be doing what I felt God has been asking me to do since Bruce left.

Time will tell.

Drug Free for 8 Days!

I'm sure that title will show up in a lot of random Google searches...but mine is a different kind of "drug-free"!
My last appointment with Dr. Haas (my RE) didn't go so well. After a week on 100mg of Clomid, no follicles formed and things weren't looking all that great. He put me on Provera and said that he hopes we are just dealing with ovaries that are still "sick" from surgery. My FSH levels told a different story. With my levels going from 50 one week to 79 the very next, Dr. Haas is scared that we may be facing ovarian failure (premature menopause). With all that being said, he put me on 7 days of Provera.
I have been off the Provera for 8 days, with no signs of a period at all.
I called him yesterday and asked to come in next week for more blood work. I need some answers and some closure!
My next appointment is next Wednesday at 8am. I'll have the answers (hopefully) by the end of that day!

Weekend in Review

This weekend was nice! The weather, the projects, baseball, friends....all nice! We are still working on our "new" kitchen table. We have successfully painted the chairs this awesome green, and the table is now brown...so this weekend Clint cut my seats out! Yippee!

So now I just need to cut the foam, get some cotton bunting stuff (if that's even the right way to say it) and cover these puppies!!! So ready for my kitchen to be back in order.

I also spent time this weekend getting these cute lovie blankets done for my sister-in-law who is expecting twins a month from now.

The first one was hard, but then I got the hang of it! I'm even going to try and sell some on Craigslist!!

I lOVE this cute whale fabric...and the stop signs!

Blake played in a tournament in Edmond. The weather was perfect for Fall ball! I wish it would stay like this all through the winter!

This week is Laynie's last softball game.

Clint and I are headed down to Big 'D' for a little "Red River Rivalry" this weekend. My boss was nice enough to give me two nights at the Omni and his OU/TX tickets that he usually sells on Ebay! So Clint and I are headed South for the weekend! Can't wait!!!!!