
Laynie, Bruce & Blake
Christmas 2008
As a Stepmom myself I know, firsthand, how alienating and uncomfortable Mother's Day can be. I have been fortunate enough over the past 3 years that my sweet step-children have only done what they felt comfortable with. I have been invited to "Muffins for Moms"...been honored with painted flower pots, sweet framed pictures, artwork that's worth more then any Van Gogh or Michael Angelo... I have never felt "worthy" of these sweet gestures, but to know that your step-child loves you in that way is just PRICELESS.
I was reading an article on CBN.com and thought this piece was worth sharing!
If there is one day of the year that can trigger sadness for a stepmom, it’s Mother’s Day. One of the reasons Mother’s Day can evoke so much emotion is because many stepmoms feel as though they have all of the pain, frustrations, financial strain, and difficulty of being a parent, but none of the rewards or joy.
Stepmoms often feel “outside the family circle” and this holiday may be a reminder that she’s an outcast. As one stepmom put it, “I have all the grief of parenting, but none of the pleasures associated with being a mom.”
Whether it’s a good or bad day, it’s wise for a stepmom to keep in mind that it’s only one day of the year. Focus on the things you are grateful for, lower your expectations, ask God to give you “the mind of Christ,” and then let go of the rest.
Every year, regardless of the "status" of our relationship, I send the kids' Mom a card and a little "something". I always want her to know, regardless of our failed attempts at having a working relationship, that I always have and always will respect her role as a Mother. I grew up in a household that focused heavily on my Mom LOATHING my Stepmom. It was a nightmare! I always felt pressured to take sides. I always had to listen and agree with my Mom when it came to her rantings about my Stepmom...which I knew (firsthand) were untrue and undeserved. When I became a Stepmom myself I made it a point to call my own Stepmom and tell her just how much I appreciated her and loved her very much.
I was also armed with the knowledge of what "feuding" moms/stepmoms can do to a child. I vowed NEVER to talk ugly about the kids' Mom to them, or never make them feel like they are having to "choose" sides between us...ever.
I sure hope I have lived up to that. I admit...it has been VERY hard a times to bite my tongue, and I have the tongue scars to prove that it IS possible. (Just kidding).
If there are any Stepmoms out there that read my blog, I just want you to know that you are appreciated...loved....and God knows your heart. He sees the goodness you do...day in and day out.
I hope all you Stepmoms out there have a wonderful, blessed Mother's Day!!!
I will be spending it with my husband. My "kids" go to their Mom's that morning. I know I will sure be missing my litte guy that day. I just pray that he is loved and cared for!!!!